Depression and love

Happy belated Easter! I thought about Grandpa a lot this Easter. He would have definitely written something about peace and the resurrection or something about sin and hope.  Well, I finally finished the one book of memoirs and started another called "We Have Just Begun to Not Fight." I have to admit, I'm getting kind of burnt-out on memoirs. I need to get back into something else. My dad recently found some old postcards of Grandpa's so I'm looking forward to reading those. If I can, I'll scan some in and post them.

There was one interesting interview in my most recent book from a gentlemen who was actually in NSBRO (the peace church committee that ran  the CPS camps). He said that he didn't think the CPS camps were run the way they should have. He stated that the government's involvement hamstrung a lot of what they could have done. The purpose of the peace churches was to spread the pacifist message and help out with war recovery efforts. The purpose of the selective service was to keep the camps out of site and out of the minds of the public.  These were cross purposes that came head to head quite often. After the war, the peace churches and many of the COs went on to do reconstruction work.  Another interesting point that this new book brought up was the impact to the wives of the men in camp.  Many of them had difficulty holding a job after their husband's CO status had been learned.

Another insight in this new book was that many of the CPS campers had trouble adjusting and became very depressed.  These men were used to being around their families and used to having meaningful work that would support that family.  They had trouble adjusting without that support group and that purpose to which they had assigned self worth. The book went on to describe that one psychologist even had trouble getting the approval to release these men from the camps for medical reasons. The camp's director had to re-write (with the doctor's final approval) many of the patient's psychological descriptions stating that they were a danger to themselves or others in order to get them released. There has always been a stigma of weakness ascribed to mental health patients and this was compounded by the fact that these men were also objecting to participate in a war that many others were willing to sacrifice their lives for (and kill others) which is also seen by many as a weakness.

I've often found it interesting how our culture perceives weakness. Love is often looked at as a weaker alternative to fighting. I know in my relationships, when I get really really angry, it is much more difficult and takes much more strength to not yell or want to strike out, but to stay calm and realize that love is still there which makes it worth the effort to WORK through problems instead of resorting to violence. In my experience, love takes much more fortitude and strength than fighting. Next time you're watching TV, pay attention to how strength and weakness are portrayed and see if it makes sense considering your experience.

Expectation

I've been pretty slow in reading lately. I'm about 2/3rd of the way through the Men of Peace book. There have been a few things that struck me about the last few entries I've read. Most of the men have reported that they think today's world is much worse off in terms of our propensity for war. They also have told stories about their difficulty finding jobs if they reveal their CO experiences. The last few accounts have been stories from men involved in the guinea pig experiments (starvation and Hepatitis experiments).  One gentlemen stated that 400 people volunteered for the starvation experiment which only required 36.  I thought that the number of applicants really showed how much the men wanted to help. They were told that these starvation experiments would help to determine how best to provide aid to countries in need. For instance, do you send meat or just grain?

Side note.  I listen to a lot of pod casts. One of the most recent was about how expectations affect us. For example, the pod cast told the story of a blind boy who never had the expectation that he couldn't do anything. He learned how to climb trees, hike by himself and even ride a bike. He learned how to use echolocation to lighten up the same portions of your brain that light up in visual people especially those areas associated with motion (but not the areas associated with light and color).  His brain created images that he used to map out his environment using the signals he got back from echolocation instead of the images created from sensory data from your eyes. He grew up to teach other blind children the technique. Most of his teaching was for the families who had to learn to let go and allow the child to explore.

It made me wonder how much of society's propensity toward war may be attributed to the expectation that war is the only way to gain a certain result.  It seems like a very ingrained idea or passion similar to the idea that the blind can't lead the blind (proved untrue at least in the story of the man in my pod cast). It was nice to hear a story about how that had been done in a few small cases. I love people who challenge expectations and ask "why?". Why can't I climb a tree? Why do I need to eliminate this person for the world to be a better place?

Food for thought for this week.

Peace be with you

Fathers and Wives

Sorry for not posting last week. I hadn't had time to get through any more of my reading. This week I'm about half way through a book which contains first hand accounts of WWII COs. It was created using the same set of interview questions for each person. So far I'm learning a lot of different things. For one, it appeared that during the 40's it was perfectly acceptable for men and women to date multiple people at the same time. I didn't expect that. I guess I thought that was more of a modern notion. So far, the men whose stories I've read were very involved in their churches and went on to continue work associated with their churches or other social work. Many of them adopted children as well. Very few had told stories about others not accepting them because of their beliefs. I was surprised at that given the other things I've read. It could also be that these interviews were done very late in these men's lives and maybe the good stories outweighed the bad and didn't seem worth mentioning at that time (there's also the scientific side of memory that has shown that every time you remember an event, you change it in your mind).There was one story of a person who  had participated in the starvation experiments and had kept a journal. The journal was later used to write a book solely about those experiments. The interviewee didn't seem to dwell on any sort of hardship from the experiment. Many of them were at odds with their fathers. So far, many of the fathers believed much more strongly in work than in church, college or pacifism. Many also told stories that exemplify the fact that many of the other COs at the camps had very different beliefs and lifestyles. There were a few men who had gone to the same camp as grandpa. They both mentioned having to go to Oregon to fight fires from there. I get the impression that several of them jumped around a little. I don't know if grandpa ever had to go outside of Ohio during his time at the camp. Another interesting commonality among these stories was that they stated that they did not waiver in their decision to be a CO. They were raised in an environment which supported that idea. I would of thought there may be more uncertainty during that time. I also found it interesting that all of the wives worked (mostly nurses or school teachers) and traveled with their husbands working on various social projects. Those are just a few interesting notes and highlights.  More stories next time.

Peace be with you

Hope

So I haven't had as much time this week to work my way through my books. There has been one thing that has been on my mind as I'm reading through Men of Peace edited by Mary Hopkins though. The stories of these people are positive despite hardships and have constant examples of hope. That is something that I believe is a common struggle. I've often thought things like, what could I do to make a difference in this huge universe?, what good do my actions do to effect a change? Of the few stories I've read so far about the men's experiences of being a pacifist during WWII and what that has meant to them in their lives, they've all provided very different answers, very different levels of activism, and different experiences that they are proud of. They all share a strong feeling of hope.  I believe that one difference between this pervasive feeling of hope that the pacifists have vs my struggle with ineffectiveness is a difference between internal and external perspectives.  The CO stories exemplified the idea that learning peaceful means to solve problems is a much larger and complex external issue that is more important and worth fighting for than any one of us and should be the focus of our efforts instead of our own perceived in-effectiveness. I also listened to a podcast with an interview with a civil rights activist and pacifist. The activist stated that history gives us hope. Individual people and groups of people involved in "movements" have contributed to great positive change. We've already done it, so we should keep doing it. That gave me the slap in the face to stop focusing on yourself and figure out how to help. The pacifist also brought up that there are many layers to any issue and focusing on them as a whole can be daunting so we should try to focus on the changes we can make in our own smaller circles. To paraphrase (in my words), Smelling the whole onion with all its layers can make you cry but if you focus on a few small pieces, it can make the difference between a mediocre dinner and a taste-bud tantalizing one.

Scary step into the step into my brain this week. I'll get back to the COs of WWII next time. Peace

Love and camp #21

I just finished the story of CPS camp #21 located in Cascade Locks. It was nice to read about what daily life was like at one of these camps. The book really gave the sense that even though these men shared a common belief, they were still very diverse in how that belief was carried out. The camp was very organized and the men produced several publications, created and put on plays, and had speakers come to the camps.

The book also told the story of George Yamada who was a Japanese-American CO at the camp. Since the camp was in the area along the west coast where Japanese-American's were rounded up and put into camps during  WWII, Mr. Yamada was ordered to go to one of these internment camps. The men at camp #21 wrote letters against the order and eventually Mr. Yamada was able to move to another CPS camp which was located outside of the relocation area.  During that process, camp #21 received a letter from grandpa's camp in support of efforts to not comply with the order. It made me proud.

The Cascade Locks CPS camp story also told the story of a CO who had a family back home who depended on him financially. The CO decided to enter the military against his beliefs so that he could support his family. That story really illustrated that even though these men were relatively isolated, they depended on their families and church members to support them and their families while they were at the camp (receiving no pay). The financial struggles must have put a lot of stress on relationships.  I haven't read any personal accounts yet that go into this.

I was also reading and thinking about this post over Valentine's Day weekend which of course is about love. I was reflecting on the power of love which has helped my family get through some very trying times. Love has been my motivator through some really tough times and (in my experience at least) grows stronger by creating peace on the other side of the struggle. Sometimes, it's extremely hard to draw on that motivation/love in the heat of the battle or internal struggle. Even trying to draw on my own experience to relate to these COs during WWII, I come up very short. I can't imagine the the struggle to find their motivation. I look forward to gaining a better sense of this in my next read which is the personal stories of 30 different COs during WWII.

Love and Peace

History and Jail

Over the past week, I finished the story of the head of the CPS. It was a historical account, meaning that I had to fight a little more to get through it. The fear that pacifism would spread was pervasive throughout the implementation of the CPS camps. Much was done to keep the CPSers out of sight and away from the majority. In one example, the administrators of the camp (Selective Service) worked with several other groups to take part in projects that benefited areas of the economy where labor was in short supply while also providing the CPSers with alternative forms (more meaningful/more national important) of community service. One project was providing labor in schools. Even though the schools were asking for the help, the administrators did not want the pacifists spreading their beliefs to the children and the project was not approved.

I also finished the Garas' A Few Small Candles book which was a collection of memoirs from conscientious objectors who had gone to prison instead of register for the draft or go to CPS camps. Many of the inmates were very active going on hunger strikes, desegregation strikes, and being overall pains to the prison system. Many of them were transferred to the same group of prisons and knew each other well. Most of them described great determination and discipline and often went through great physical and emotional hardship in support of their ideals. A few also elaborated on the struggle they had with their decisions and the perceived futility of acts of civil disobedience from such a small minority of people. 

I was trying to figure out who Grandpa's influences may have been at the time, given what was going on at the time. Most of the people who were included in the memoirs spoke of Gandhi which leads me to believe that his story was well known at the time.  There also appeared to be a few kind of superstars in the pacifist community who stood out. Many of them wrote books about their experiences. A few that I'd like to read more about is David Dillinger and James Peck

If you are more of a video person, here is a brief history of one CO during WWI  http://youtu.be/nZrvUp4q7WQ

Fun pictures and the CPS Frozen Fund

In the past week, I've read Keim's Illustrated History of CPS and Nolt's article about the Frozen Fund. In Keim's work, I found a few photos from the camp that grandpa worked at and one that I think he is actually in! I posted the photos in their own separate page. There is a photo of the soil lab where grandpa may have done work although he's not in the picture. The book was really interesting and told a really good story about what daily life was like and how the CPSers filled their time. It also went into great detail about the severe labor shortages at mental health hospitals and farms.  It was very sad to see pictures and read about the deplorable conditions these people were in. One health worker to 300 patients, clothing shortages, and incontinence leading to groups of naked, filthy, miserable people. The CPS works tried to do what they could to clean the people and the building and provide them with clothes and blankets when they could.

Farm shortages led to an alternative work program that grandpa was involved with (camps 97 and 100.)  He traveled around to local farms and tested milk which is categorized as CPS unit 100. According to Nolt's article, since the Selective Service didn't want to take jobs away from those who needed them by providing free labor to businesses, the businesses were required to pay the CPSers. But, since the CPSers weren't allowed to get paid, the money had to go into what was called "The Frozen Fund." The original idea was to use the funds for foreign recovery projects at the end of the war. Nolt goes on to explain all the ways in which the historic peace churches tried to appropriate these funds to recovery projects by proposed bills in congress. Many attempts were made to fund different projects including UNICEF, a program called CARE to provide technical books to Europe after their resources had been destroyed, as well as a few others. All of these attempts failed for various reasons. One failed because an opinion that the funds should not go to the United Nations which was already funded by the US prevailed. Another attempt failed because the congressman who proposed the bill was an entry on a list of congressmen who were communists. In general, Nolt sums it up saying The peace churches' simple plans and requests met with success in creating the CPS program because the state, too, wanted to avoid dealing with COs in World War I style (most were imprisoned and many died due to poor treatment). When the same type of simple plans and requests-this time to release the frozen fund-came from the peace churches following the end of the war, the requests were unsuccessful in part because the state had no substantial stake in seeing the plans carried out.

In the end, the ~$1.2 million (1945) earned by the ~1200 CPS service men who volunteered for these positions was appropriated to the general treasury fund and not used for its intended purpose.

As promised, I posted one article from grandpa's newsletter called The Peace Advocate. The articles that I have that he wrote were from the 90's.